Recently during a quiet time alone, finding myself in a moment of conscience thought, a time of deep meditation and soul searching, I was telling God, “It’s all or nothing”. As I spoke those words I was immediately reminded of the complete difference between the two and their total ramifications. I knew deep within my heart that I was in need of His love and care and could sense that without Him everything would be meaningless and without reason. All or nothing: I dwelt upon the importance of what I was saying, upon the complete disparity of the two. I was made aware of the fundamental truth and total importance of complete surrender; the forfeiture of all rights as if there was any true choice or desirability to their ownership. Giving my all; what a blessed hope, what a true glory. Being lost and possessing nothing, what complete and utter disappointment and shame. The reality of giving up everything to gain what to this world would be seen as nothing. I had to make a choice and that choice would cause me to stay put or to surrender.
Having a friend and being a friend is as different as night is from day. Being unconcerned and careless, it took most of my life for me to figure that out. So many times I chose to carry my own burdens instead of allowing Him to assist me. Desiring to have the world by the tail and not achieving it placed me in a quandary and not knowing where I was headed left me miserable and unfulfilled. They say that you don’t miss what you don’t have; and, in some ways, I suppose this to be true. The many things that this world can offer you have no true peace or security but not having the things of God can and will leave you totally bewildered and afraid. Emptiness of the heart is not about temporal matters, and filling your heart with those things of the flesh can in no way provide what is truly necessary. God wants to be real, to provide those things that are meaningful and important. You will not really come alive until you have His peace deep inside of you, not only by accepting Him as your Savior but by allowing Him to be your sovereign ruler and guide.
The older I got, the more I could see the positives of Heaven and the negatives of Hell. We, as sinful man, really do determine our usefulness and the peace and joy that we will experience as we live. I have never regretted the decision that I made in my youth to accept Jesus as my Savior, but I now wish that I had been more willing to do those things that He wanted me to do. The past is gone, and it is never advisable to live in it. The very best that I can do is to take those things that I have learned and to use them to make my present life even better. God has promised me a glorious future; and, if I am willing to trust Him, He will make what I have and am today as magnificent as I allow Him to. Times are not always easy, but I know that I have nothing to fear with God as my Eternal Father.
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